The Ever Elusive Elephants

It’s been another great week in Kitete. I will admit, however, that it was a pretty lonely week. The students really are the life of this parish, and there hasn’t been any volleyball since last Friday. Sometimes I go outside and sit on the steps of the male dormitory (or their self-proclaimed “ghetto”) to do some reading and thinking. It’s a good place to soak in some afternoon sun, but it is too quiet now. I still can’t believe that 12 guys live in those two little rooms. I really don’t think “live” is the correct verb to use. The rooms are small and stuffy. There is only room for three bunks in each room. No closets. No desks. No running water. I believe there are plans for a new dorm after money has been raised. Fr. David looks over the school, but he has been on a tour of Europe. I haven’t met him yet. Charlie and I will meet with him before we leave to talk about the future of the school. I have been looking forward to that meeting for quite a while.

Tuesday saw an all-day trip to Moshi to attend the funeral of Fr. Andrew’s father. The priests here were asked to celebrate the Mass. They went to school and are good friends with Fr. Andrew. The funeral was well attended, and the church was packed. I felt a little out of place at the Mass. I have gotten used to people staring at me, especially the children, but here it seemed like almost too much. There were photographers at the funeral, and they took special effort to take a picture of me and Charlie. I seem to be a distraction at most Masses that I attend outside of St. Brendan’s. Here at St. Brendan’s I have become a “regular.” I like this.

Following the Mass we walked through a forest of banana trees to the home of Fr. Andrew’s father for the burial. The tone of the day changed dramatically here. There was desperate crying and wailing by the family as the casket was carried into the courtyard and placed into the ground, but after the cement was poured, a party commenced. I thought I was at a wedding reception with all the catered food and drinks and tents and balloons. There was even live music. Many men from the Congregation of Holy Cross attended the funeral, and they were ushered to the food line first. I think I ate before some of the grieving family. So many people attended that they eventually ran out of food. I have never seen people so frantic and violent trying to get food. There were men in military uniform holding people outside the gates of the home. Should I have had any food at all?

The city of Moshi is right next to Mt. Kilimanjaro. It was a cloudy day, but I saw the base of the mountain as we drove toward the city. During the post-funeral celebration the clouds cleared and I saw the snow-covered top of the mountain above the trees for about five minutes. That’s about all of the mountain that I will get to see here. I researched a climbing trip, and even after the “we’re-Notre-Dame-students-who-are-friends-of-a-friend” discount, Charlie and I can’t afford the excursion. I’m not too disappointed, though.

Even though Kilimanjaro will only remain a mountain in the distance, I feel like I have been climbing a different mountain this past week. Not being in the classroom anymore, I have had a lot of time to do some reading and reflecting and journaling. Being not of much use here, I have been thinking about how I will be of use after I get home. I keep asking myself how nine weeks in Tanzania will change my life and actions. Can nine weeks even do that? I have filled many pages in my journal on this topic alone. I will have to live in light of what I have seen and learned while being here. I can’t pretend like these two months never happened. Changes in attitude and spirit have occurred (I think), but how does that translate into life back home? It’s been a gift to have a lot of quiet time lately to battle these questions about solidarity and charity, religion and consumerism. Unfortunately, I think I will be leaving here with many more questions than answers. I’m ok with that, though. Questions always come before answers. Scaling this mountain will be more triumphant than ever reaching the top of Kilimanjaro.

I’m sorry to subject you to these personal things, but they really have been eating at me. (I’m not sure if I feel more charged for action or just simply frustrated right now.) Through my daily journaling, I have learned that writing about these things helps a lot.

I sat with some little girls outside on the steps in the sun. They knew a little English, so we were able to say hello. After that, we just sat there together in silence. It is discouraging to see how thin their arms and legs were. Their clothing was dirty and ragged. Just sitting there with them was the best part of my day. They hid their faces from me. This is a common act of modesty. We spent a considerable time just sitting there enjoying the sun together. After they walked away, the youngest one turned around and gave me a big smile. This is was solidarity looks like today. I wonder what it will look like months from now.

The water works again. I found out why the water stopped running for a few days. Elephants busted some underground pipes near the well. The elephants have proved to be very elusive. I can’t believe elephants are literally in our backyard and I haven’t seen one here yet. (I’ve only seen them while on safari.) We went on an elephant hunt yesterday afternoon after visiting the dispensary in Lostete. We parked the Land Cruiser on the top of a hill overlooking a known elephant path to a water hole. We were told by the locals in the vehicle with us that they make this trip each evening. We sat there until it got too dark to see anything. No elephants. However, when we turned on the lights of the Cruiser, I saw a pair of eyes glowing down the path from us. I couldn’t make out what kind of animal it was, but the villagers in the vehicle with us started yelling “Chui! Chui!” That means leopard in Swahili! We even saw a few large owls on the drive back.

Charlie and I have finally “finalized” our travel plans. We leave early tomorrow morning for Dar es Salaam. We have plans to visit Iringa and Zanzibar as well. We have also added Nairobi to our itinerary. We have been invited and have made arrangements to stay at the Holy Cross Formation House there. Nairobi is basically the New York City of the area. It would be pretty daunting to just go there on our own, but we will be picked up from the bus stop and taken care of by the priests and seminarians who live there.

Charlie and I will spend time enjoying ourselves on the beaches, but this isn’t supposed to be just a vacation (we still hope to see the dolphins!). We have plans to visit some NGO’s and other volunteer organizations while we are away. We hope that our trip will be both educational and enjoyable. We want to know more about the people here in Tanzania and how the Holy Cross community operates in East Africa. I found this passage while reading some Thomas Merton, and his words will be our theme for our remaining three weeks here: “A certain depth of disciplined experience is a necessary ground for fruitful action. Without a more profound human understanding derived from exploration of the inner ground of human existence, love will tend to be superficial and deceptive.”

Our physical and active “experience” is different from what he is talking about (meditation, contemplation), but the quote still works for me. Please keep us in your prayers as we experience more of East Africa. I have been looking forward to traveling for a long time.